Musings From The 10th.....

 Without and I wouldn't have ended up being the person I am today

 When I became an orphan and had never felt more alone

 I wept on the floor the first day I was without my family

I was born in London, England and we lived there until I was almost four years old. My uncle Dan, my father's brother, used to take me for walks when I was a baby and toddler. My first vivid memory is when I was about two years old. I was walking with my uncle and saw a cat on the other side of the road. I don't know why, but the cat suddenly jumped up towards the road just as a car came by. The cat was hit, killed instantly and landed in the gutter at the side of the road right at our feet. The flies descended on the body almost instantly. Now one might think that this is just the overactive imagination combined with a childhood memory. The funny thing is that my uncle couldn't believe it when I first recounted the incident....however he did confirm it was exactly as I remembered.

My father could be a stubborn man, right until the end. We found out during our Xmas family dinner in 1989 that on Xmas eve he had been having chest pains. In fact he had spent about an hour collapsed on the floor and did nothing about it. When we heard this at dinner my father-in-law, who was a doctor, very strongly suggested that he go to the hospital immediately. He refused, and rather than create a scene, we all let it go. I remember kissing him on the cheek when he was leaving with my mom to go home. That was something it would not normally do. In fact I can still feel the sensation and touch on my lips when I think back on it. The next time I saw him was Boxing Day.  My mum called and said that he had collapsed while making a phone call to England. I raced to their place, where he was being administered to by the paramedics. They allowed me to go in the ambulance where they continued their attempts to revive him. As I watched, I just knew he was gone. Mum and I waited in...

The first person to refer to me as "Hilarious JS" was Phil Neubauer at St. Mike's. I don't remember when he first referred to me in that way, nor am I sure why he started. I am sure it was a term of endearment in some way however, I have since learned it means not to take myself too seriously.  I know there have been times in my life when I needed that reminder but didn't heed the need. The person who has reinforced that the most is my best friend and brother, Mike Flynn. I am pretty sure I get it now.......most of the time. Thanks Mike! Tanx guys!