Empathy for "little John"

I m no longer angry with my parents for how they dealt with their lives and for not teaching me how to navigate life. I don't feel sorry for myself. I do have empathy for that lonely little boy who was desperately looking for love and acceptance without any reciprocal expectations. He was also brought up without being given any of the tools most parents give to their children that help them deal with life and manage difficult situations. 

I now know why I was an outcast of sorts. It was because I was looking for acceptance and love from anyone who I thought could give it to me.

My son Evan was convinced that I did things to impress people, whether it be the way I dressed, carried myself or the people I associated with. What he did not know, nor could he, was that I simply wanted to be accepted. It has been that way for as far back as I can remember. It's probably sad...but it's true